It is extremely cold, so it freezes your hands when you touch it.

 

Where did this jar of antimatter come from?

@Michael238 (View Post)

It came from an inter-galactic foreign ambassador, who presented you with it as a gift of goodwill.

---

Why is there a pink and yellow polka dot monkey on fire dancing on a union jack elephant who is upside down on a truck carrying thousands of squashed green bananas with jumping maggots in it outside my window on a poorly maintained satellite wrecked on a stray mineral rich asteroid on a collision course for the star Sirius in space?

*********************************************************************************************************************************
@CAC-Boomerang (View Post)
The Russians had nothing better to do.

---

Why is the road tarmac replaced with leather?
********************************************************************************************************************************
lined with astrixes, 3K posts :D

**********

Awesome!  *

**********

Because you're a midget and you're in fact, sitting on the couch.

 

Why am I a human?

Because you parents couldn't afford a penguin.

 

Why did I spend $499 on Optimus Primes toupée?

@dulix11 (View Post)
because he threatened to squash you if you didnt.

---

Why don't I like Chinese food?

@AngrySpam (View Post)

 

Because your taste buds have mutated.

 

 

I'm writing in bold.

@DJspiderize (View Post)

 Because you are almost blind, and require text to be bolt to see.

 

Why did the golf course blow up?

@Michael238 (View Post)

 Because the gophers discovered uranium. 

 

Why is my cat walking on the ceiling? 

@Candunc (View Post)
I forgot to turn off your ANAR producing machine.

Why do people think I'm a vandal just because I purchase spray-paint?