Fortunately, because I was the one who implanted the volcanic activity, I was prepared - my house was more than 10 miles underground, in a secure bunker.

The next user is in Hawaii when a massive volcanic eruption in California causes record-breaking tidal waves.

I take some floaties and swim out of there as fast as possible.

The next user tried to come with me, but he was attacked by a great white.

I'm normal, but I'm naked in a full-body suit of armour. The knife bounces off.

The next user is hit by a chunk of powder toy DMND falling into them at the speed of light (NOT powder toy's speed of light)

A chunk the size of a neutrino. It creates a black-hole due to it breaking the laws of physics before hitting me and while the hole generates, I escape.

The next user is suddenly accelerated to faster-than-light speeds.

I am suddenly accelerated to faster-than-light speeds, and i get disintegrated, but with that so fast speed i travel in time, so it never happened, and then i say to HitlerSucks: things don't become black holes when they break the laws of physics, just when things are extremely comprised ;).

The next user is the black hole that hitlersucks ran away from.

@DanielGalrito (View Post)

I know, but paradoxes are usually associated with black-holes and I'm just feeding the fire of the misconception :)

I still have a few thousand years to live.

The next user is getting sucked up by me, the black hole.

Fortunately, since it is so small (being created by something the size of a neutrino), I can easily walk away.

the next user is sucked into the black hole at the center of the Milky Way.

I was sling-shoted by the Sagitarius A(?) black hole back to Earth, i take many light years to get back but you didnt say i wasn't imortal... :p

The next user hugs a neutron star.

I am a black hole. I suck the neutron star into me, adding more mass to me.

The next user is in the middle of a giant supernova.