I live happily looping through time forever. as my actions have no consequence to me whatsoever, I can go do whatever I want.

I am so jealous of this hypothetical me right now...

I brutally stab the next user, and then nuke their dead remains, and then annihilate everything that is left in the crater with antimatter I have stolen from terrorist groups. I am then safely whisked away to several days ago.

I am an atom of thorium-232. I am unharmed by your knife, as it was far too big to do any damage at all. When you detonated the nuke, I captured a neutron released during the explosion, which lets me undergo two beta decays to become an atom of uranium-233. The blast wave threw me out of the crater, so I am unaffected by the antimatter explosion since I am now too far away.

I fissioned inside the next user, creating an incurable brain tumor by irradiating some of the nearby brain cells.

the brain tumour mutates into an arm that i use to fix my brain.

the next user gets banned and suicides

But I am a spy in TF2, using the Dead Ringer cloak watch, so a decoy dies and I cloak myself, backstabbing several people and eventually leading my team to victory.

The next user is caught between a mutant moose and a mutant bear. Having an epic battle of nature.

i use my mutant sidekick monkey to fend them off while i run to safety.

I push the next user off a 150 storey building

on the first floor...\

The next user gets nuked

Fortunately, I was in an underground bunker. After waiting for the radiation to subside, I ascend to the surface, only to find that the area has been burned into glass. I walk out of the area towards the nearest inhabited area.

The next user is a normal human trapped in a cave several miles underground. Lava is rapidly filling the cave, and there is no exit. The air itself is being superheated by the lava, and will burn you to death.

Suddenly the earth opens up, causing all of the lava to fall into a hidden tunnel towards the center of the earth. It turns out there is a self supporting biosphere there, where I safely land due to the low gravity. I then take a long elevator ride up to the surface.

The next user is trapped in Minecraft in surivual mode. They are not on a mod/hack and have no items, and are surrounded with super charged creepers.

Step away from the computer?

@bowserinator (View Post)

 I just set the difficulty mode to "peaceful". That causes the creepers to despawn instantly.

I teleported the next user to the core of Jupiter, where they are now instantly boiling and imploding simultaneously from the heat and pressure.