@dnerd About 10 years ago, I tweaked a copy of Win98 to run like Win2k Pro. Something like that could probably be done on Mac. Merging bits of more than one OS, closely related as they are, though.
I know your problem. It is a *VERY* Important file you are missing. I have seen it on many other macs. I will PM you how to fix it. In the morning, I am tired.