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Overseeing piracy of the seven seas. Is a robot from the future: More than likely.
Once upon a time, there was a pink flamingo who lived in Puerto Rico. Picked on by the locals, he was driven to insanity becoming the worlds most menacing super villain...
GARRY!

His side kick George was just your normal every day orange rat-boy who got infected with rat DNA as a baby. Unlike others his age he teamed up with Garry to form the crime fighting duo Pink Rat Flamingo and Garry (working title). Expect to see a movie sometime next year.

Their crew simply did not have enough colors, so they put out an ultra top-secret advert to millions of people in the hopes of recruiting more super villains to join them. Three new villains answered the call.

Jake the yellow parrot-woman,
Cartman the half-greens-cart half man... man.
Thornton the red rose bush.
And lastly and most certainly least
Beyonce the blue whale, who is useless... because she's a whale.

They voted to reform their policies regarding what words to shout out when announcing their group, the result the spectrum of almost amazing, mildly moving, intolerably intolerable animal-men and animal-women.

They are a laughing stock of the world as expected, twenty years later. Cartman joined a top secret military operation, xXxHEADSHOT420xXx, the details of which were never released to the public.

That is, until this very day, the top secret military operation was to go ba...

[george] that's it?
[garry] yup, weird isn't it?
[beyonce] BAWOOoooooo
[thornton] shut up whore whale.
[beyonce] ;__;

And that is the story of how cartman became the worlds leader ruling to this very day. Except that he died, of a laugh attack in 86 and was actually replaced with a clone who also died a laugh attack.
Replaced by a blow up sex doll in 2.71828183, later liberated by NUBS (Neckbeard Underground Blow-up-doll Society) in 3.14159265.
Finally replaced by the current cartman a TI-86 and a Speak & Spell, bound with duct tape.
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