I know threads like this have been made in the past, and quite a few of them were a bit less than mediocre, but I got bored so I started typing out somethin that kinda resembles the first part of a chapter. Tell me how bad you think it is.

Walled

By Seth M******

Chapter 1: Fall of Kiev

            The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon. It was fairly hard to see through the smog coming from the 8^th largest city in Europe, Kiev. Private First Class Colin Marks trained his L98A1 on the first figure to stumble out from the tree line. Yup, he thought. Raven. He could see the black, decomposing flesh that was beginning to hang from bone and muscle. Many countries gave them names, but Colin’s favorite was the Ukrainian name for them. In Ukrainian, the mangled mass in his sight was known as a ????? (characters cant be translated here, it looks like bopah), or ‘Raven’, a very apt name, for the black flesh hanging from the arms does vaguely resemble feathers.

 Back in Nineteen Ninety-Seven, the Vietnam government cried for help from the UN, sending reports of ‘running corpses’. China, Russia and the US sent in small investigative teams to if they weren’t pulling our legs. Judging by what the teams recorded and sent back, it appeared they weren’t. The Chinese Government laughed it off as a hoax, a plea for attention from the country that hadn’t gotten any in a little over thirty years.

            But the United States and Russia saw the possibilities of this threat, and sent in a couple dozen companies of soldiers. Their goal was to burn the whole of Vietnam, and rescue any survivors left. The north half of Vietnam had nearly no Ravens at the time, just a few that had finally begun to wander in. The south however was overflowing with them. Ho Chi Min City had gone completely dark by the time they arrived, and Hue radioed one company near them for help. That company was the only one to leave Vietnam alive.

            The Ravs proceeded spread to Cambodia, Laos, Thailand and Burma. By that time, China finally saw what was going on. The Ravs began pouring into Kunming, and the People’s Liberation Army Ground Forces had no chance. They had been caught completely off guard. Surviving witnesses stated that there were millions of them running through the streets.

            He put the crosshairs right on the Raven’s head, and then move it a few centimeters up. He was about to pull the trigger and end the second life of this thing when he heard a rifle report from somewhere to his right. He looked over, and saw where the shot had come from. Fifty meters down the wall was Kate’s watch station. Prick… Colin thought to himself.

            They had been there for about 2 months. Them, as in the 38^th Battalion, US Marine Corps. They were there to allow leave of the last group guarding the primary defense of Europe, the Wall of Kiev. Currently running from the southern edge of Turkey, turning east around the Black Sea, barely touching Kiev, and running halfway through the land border of Russia. The Wall is one of the largest and fastest made structures in all of human history. It took about ten years to fully complete the hundred meter tall line of concrete, rebar and reinforced steel.

            Some sections of the wall have fully automated sentry guns and rocket turrets. Other parts, like some areas around Kiev, are densely packed with forests. By the time any Ravens could run, limp, or crawl out of the tree line here, they would already be too close to be considered in the sentries’ range of fire. So, international relations between the US, Russia and other walled Eastern European nations decided it would be best if they got some help. That help was the US Marines and the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation. They figured that with help from some real superpowers, they wouldn’t have to do anything for themselves. They were essentially right on the money.

            So the Wall Watchers were given a nickname, the Guard Dogs. Makes us sound like a bunch of animals, Colin thought. Some of the Dogs were essentially animals. Colin had heard stories about a group of them down the wall to the west, which would catch Ravens and string them up on the wall, mutilating them. Their pained cries would attract hundreds more from the forests, and the Dogs there would just play games and gamble on who would get the most kills.

the first part is his personal thoughts, so i dont think parenthesis are necessary.

Third Person

Id written an essay in my English III clash back in high school that i thought was one of the best things id ever written. I couldnt find it, so I thought, hey, why not try to make something similar, but not identical.

The forests were dense, so they were unable to see into them until a Rav was too close for a turret to shoot.

I did mean that, because the tree line there was thicker than in some other parts of the wall.

exactly. I cant get it to translate

those arent english words thhough...