He never actually went to the computer, however. He just "hacked" it without any knowledge of actually hacking.

Simple.  You take the computer in itself.

Then exit the computer :P

Take USB. Plug in. Copy password taped on the screen.

Extract USB. Right click. Click self destruct. Run away.

Feed popcorn pill (matrix refrence, ps who cares about logic)

Popcorn wakes up. I hide it inside the next users stomach in such a way no matter how the get it out?Teleporting, cutting, etc.. they will die, they are a normal human and will stay that way until they die, and no reviving any way.

However, my stomach acids dissolved the popcorn thanks to you putting it there. Fortunately, I happen to have a copy stored in 3D printer format. I print off a copy of the popcorn, before putting it inside a safe which I then dump somewhere in the middle of the ocean.

I saw your helicopter flying to the ocean and landed mine on a nearby oil rig, stole a boat and swam down to the safe. I take the safe back to the mainland, and hide it in a seedbank made specifically for popcorn. I inject MY popcorn with an antidote and fly over the seedbank and pour a neurotoxin over it. If you pick the wrong popcorn, you die.