I instantly turn into the hulk, and with help from chuck norris, pull the universe back together and reform an earth.

As chuck norris swims through to the other side of the earth, I find he next user and flick his head off.

I am a cricket, so I have a brain in my tail.

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The user below is stuffed into a 9000 kelvin degree furnace

I am an atom, so I simply move faster than normal.

The next user is teleported onto the Mars-sized object that hit Earth and formed the moon, one second before impact.

Teleported out of place, I take a step forward and smash horribly into the earth, forming the moon. (What a horrible way to go after just being reincarnated)

Thankfully however, it turns out that the same atoms that formed my body in that time, made up my composition billions of years in the future, creating a paradox. (see previous comment)

The next user faces all the consiquences of that paradox, leaving the rest of us unaffected.

According to science paradoxes are impossible :p

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The user below is sucked into a black hole.

I manage to go into orbit around the central singularity after passing through the event horizon, since I was moving at 99% of the speed of light parallel to the event horizon.

The next user falls into the same black hole, where they impact the singularity.

I am a parasite, and slowly eat you from the inside out.

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You get hit with a gamma ray

I posess the magically ability to inherit any living thing near me, even when "dead". As the worms come to eat my eyeballs my soul inherits it. Me a worm 4evr!

The next user is run over by 715 Nissan.