@R3APER (View Post)

 Because North Korea is a communist country?

Who stole my plutonium?!

Me.

Why am I getting hit by rime?

@boxmein (View Post)

 The server admins really liked you.

Why do I see a mushroom cloud rising from Poorsoft's house?

Because Simon likes Windows better.

Why am I covered in wet cat food?

It rained cat food.

The sun exploded

@EqualsThree (View Post)

 You are on Earth, five billion years in the future.

The sun is a white dwarf.

You are on Earth, five and a half billion years into the future.

There is no sun.

@billion57 (View Post)

 My black hole bomb accidentally ate it.

Nyan Cat has crossed the event horizon of the black hole.