@R3APER (View Post)

 It is actually a banana-shaped chunk of the Sun's core.

 

Why am I suddenly 1,800 miles underground?

@PacBrad (View Post)
Congratulations.

Why am I lacking super powers, yet I can communicate with indigenous squirrels or south America?

@R3APER (View Post)

 Because you are a squirrel.

 

What's the code to my awesome nuclear time bomb?

Nobody knows, and it blows Genghis Khan to bits.

__________________________________________
Why are my toes made of a spongy material?

@billion57 (View Post)

 You got injected in your toes with a mutagenic virus that is slowly turning you into a sponge.

 

Now where did I leave that red matter?

@Michael238 (View Post)
Inside the cow next to the old abandoned well.

Why is my pet rock misbehaving again? (This reminds me of Ask.com)

@R3APER (View Post)

 The hammer got pushed by a newtonian gravity well.

 

Why isn't there any global warming?

@PacBrad (View Post)

@Michael238
My farts weren't powerful enough.

Why is my Shifty zapadoo not working?