@EqualsThree (View Post)

 The driver was Simon.

 

My Minecraft world is melting.

Your using Tekkit.

 

My computer is smoking and making grinding noises.

@plypencil (View Post)

 It is about to explode.

 

My house is filled with a strange blue glow.

@jjbagley (View Post)
Because you have 3D.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a soviet SCUD missile out of the sky.

@R3APER (View Post)

 Because it was aimed at him, but it explodes, killing him.

 

My jar of antimatter exploded.

@Michael238 (View Post)
Because you made the mistake of asking for antimatter in the first place.

I got hit with the force of a 1,000 rainbows all at once. (Skittles reference.)

Because you sleep walked into a skittles factory.

 

windows updated.

@Galacticruler (View Post)

Because some hacker uploaded a virus into a workstation, which mutated taking over the network, and is sending half-coded updates to the downloads server. 

 

My painting exploded.

@Candunc (View Post)

You painted part of a nuclear bomb.

 

Where did these endermen come from?!