An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly as a result of her interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and a master bath suite with a sauna and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied. "This is heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course would change to new one that represented one of the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply: "This is heaven; you play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. Peter lectured, "That's the best part: You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is heaven."
With that, the old man threw down his hat, stomped on it, and shrieked wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

A boy, who lives in an apartment with his family, was a happy kid. He walks home from school by himself. He heard, one day, that there where ghosts in the apartments he lived in. He thought that was ridiculous because he never had an experience. On a Friday night he went home tired and sweaty. He came in the elevator and pressed the 4th floor button. the elevator opened at the 2nd floor then closed. On the third floor, the door opened and suddenly the overload alarm went off. He didn't know what happened as he was ALONE. He used the stairs and had nightmares about it.

From my cousin.

I think, therefore I am.

there was a boy. he had dog. dog fly. fly dog! get ball, dog. good job, dog!


that was a masterpiece

im writing a story. but its written on paper. not done yet.

@EqualsThree (View Post)
That's a pretty sweet chainsaw. How did you do that?

@alecnotalex
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