This is SPARTA!?!?
-
This post is hidden because the user is banned
-
I go forward to the twenty-first century in a time machine that runs off antimatter. (Dont ask how) I meet a plastic surgeon who can change me back to a Caucasian American citizen. (Which I am) He doesn't have enough to work with so I end up becoming Asian-American, and am now culturally accepted in this alternate reality. (IRL, races usually aren't that segregated in the U.S.)
The next user forgot their happy pills AGAIN. You are an astronaut... Who left them on the ISS... (Space Station) Which was destroyed by a meteor... and the only pharmacist who knows your perscription was on it...
CRAP!!!
-
Fortunately, I no longer need happy pills.
The next user dropped the world's largest diamond down a storm drain. Not only that, but the museum that loaned it to you wants it back within one hour.
-
This post is hidden because the user is banned
-
The peanut butter is very sticky, and it glues my mouth shut. I go to a doctor and he says I need to find the great peanut oracle. I travel for 5 years before finding the oracle in the peanut mountains. He says he can help me if I complete a quest to retreive his butter knife from the walnut wizard. (WALNUTS!!!!) I go to save his knife from the walnut wizard in the tree nut mountains. Upon reaching his ancient walnut hut, (which is made of a giant walnut shell) I attempt to enter with stealth. However, I accidentally step on a walnut shell, producing a loud CRACK. He comes out of his lair and fires thousands of walnuts at me. When I am weakened, I steal his walnut staff and fire billions of walnuts into his mouth. He eats all of them and becomes very sick of walnuts, breaking his power and killing him. I find the butter knife and return to the peanut mountains.
When I return to the peanut mountains, the oracle reveals his true intentions, to murder me and steal the super powerful peanut butter I ate. I fire walnuts at him, having kept the walnut staff. He is not effected by walnuts, however, sticking my feet to the floor with peanut butter. As he comes to finish me off, I poke him in the eye with his own butter knife, and I shove the magic peanut butter into his mouth. The peanut lair destabilizes and explodes. Luckily, I am several miles away by then.
When I return home I wash my face, and the peanut butter comes off. VICTORY.
The next user is on the intergalactic food court space station, selling his famous sandwiches. However, you run out of special sauce, lost the secret recipe, and forgot the recipe too. Your starship was stolen by space pirates and you are 7,000 light-years from earth, where the copy of the recipe is. Also, a strange mass shadow is preventing hyperspace travel, and your customers are an alien species that get extremely violent towards everything when hungry.
-
This post is hidden because the user is banned
-
I get mad motion sickness from the ship spinning around like that. I puke all over you, and my vomit is extremely acidic. It vaporizes you.
The next user is craving a grilled cheese, and you need more cheese. However, all the stores are out of cheese, miraculously.
-
I happen to live near a farm and thankfully I have a make your own cheese kit so I dump the milk into the kit and as it stirs the milk into cheese I run up to the store and grab some bread but it turns out I grabed it and didn't pay for it so as Im running down the street I hear sirens and people shouting. I turn around and I see the policemen so I run into an ally and after getting beat up by a gang crawl out and go to the medicare center to get my black eye checked out and by the time I get home the cheese is done so I grill it and eat it... finally, alone at last... then the police break in and I am hawled away to solitary confinement... but I hid the grilled cheese in my pants so... victory??? lol
The next person has a pet rock and the rock gets moss on it one day so you think its a terrible diesese and you need to cure it. What do you do?
