Not very much shit, definitely not enough to kill me. Sadly, I couldn't find any information on the LD₅₀ of feces, so I don't know how much that is.

The next user is eaten alive by termites.

As Im not chained down or anything, I run into the shower, and wash the termites off.

The next user is chained down, being eaten alive by termites.

I am not made of wood, so the termites instead eat the chains, which are made of wood.

The next user falls to their death in Jupiter's atmosphere.

Teleportation device out of Jupiter's atmosphere an back to Earth.

I teleport the next user into the core of the Sun.

Thankfully, it is the future, where there is my secret laboratory in the core.

The next user has their legs sticking past the event horizon of a black hole and their head above the event horizon of the black hole, causing their body to stretch apart.

I am a robot. I decouple the legs.

The next user gets compresed to the size of a peanut in the span of 1 second.

Fortunately, a sun flame reached the Earth's atmosphere, making an electromagnetic pulse that broke the circuits of the crusher, making it crush the walls and opening them.

The next user is sent to a universe where matter can't exist, just energy, and he can't get teleport to other universes or dimensions.