The weight is 100000000000 km above my head, so it falls very slowly, allowing me to walk away.

A shark attacks the next user. You are an ordinary human.

I swim faster than Michael Phelps, so I swim to a large boat and get on before the shark gets me.

Nex user is stuck outside the universe, where there is no time.

But the univerese keeps expanding, catching me into it.

The next user falls out of the ISS and gets de-orbited. You will surely burn up in Earth's atmosphere.

Ablative ceramic heat shields for the win.

The next user is entering the Earth's atmosphere at nearly the speed of light, causing all of the atoms in your body to undergo nuclear fusion with the atoms in the air, causing a thermonuclear explosion which instantly vaporizes your remains.

I'm stickman falling "nearly the speed of light", which is 3 pixels/frame for some reason. I land safely after my head goes through the ground and back up.

I push the next user out of a space shuttle in the middle of space without a spacesuit.

You misscalculated where space starts. You push me into the atmosphere where I have a parachute.

The next user explodes via 10000000 tons of TNT.

I am C5.

The next user is crushed and frozen by a c5 bomb. 

I was a steel sandwich on fire at the time of getting hit by a c5 bomb.

The fire goes out and I'm thrown across the continent.

Next user is ragdolled, thrown at the ground really really hard, nuked, and gets a shotgun to the head, then is frozen, thrown at the sun, pulled out of the sun, blown up with an IED, gets teleported into a black hole, gets teleported in a star, teleported to earth, hit by a bus, charged for jaywalking, and gets ionized into plasma, shortly after which the user is nuked again.

Oh, and what was left of the user is buried in an unmarked grave in the desert on an alien planet, turning the 'sand' into a pinkish, unbreakable glass.

I'm a neutrino.

The next user has a heart attack.

@FeynmanLogomaker (View Post)

 you cheeky, cheeky bugger.

I am a blob of living goo. I don't have heart attacks.

Next user gets h4xX3d BY 4N0nYmU5 so their computer is blown up when the computer turns on, and they're already turning the computer on.