You donate your brain to me.

The next user lives underground somewhere inside the inner core of the earth lonely and he don't know how to get to the surface (he don't have a phone or any kind of technology).

The inner core is made out of nikel and iron. I use those to make tools and dig my way out Minecraft style.

The next user is Hitler. Either way you try to escape me, you will fail, I will reach you and I will kill you.

You decide not to because you realize I just wanted to be your friend, and I had no money.

The next user is simply dead, with no rejuvenating technology or powers, and cant be given body ;parts because it is the apocolypse and everyone is dead.

I deal with it and enjoy paradise.

The next user is a tiny motionless and powerless figure of the Illuminati pyramid which I drown in a pool of aqua regia and then blow the bowl up and blow the explosion up with an exploded explosion of a hypernova nuke which has been nuked by a quatrillion Tsar Bombas. Good luck. 

Fortunately, I am a pyramid-shaped mass of neutrinos. Your explosions and corrosive chemicals have no effect on me. I simply phase through the blasts and escape.

The next user is trapped inside a universe that is collapsing in on itself. You have exactly one minute before you are pulled into the singularity and destroyed.

You didn't say that I don't have a teleportation device...YOU MADE A BIG MISTAKE! I use it to teleport to a peaceful universe.

The next user is somehow unable to drink or eat anything. If you somehow managed to get the food/drink into your body, your cells won't do anything about. If you somehow managed to give your body some energy that you can use instead of eating food, your body will try to get rid of it even though it's useful and you will die/starve to death shortly.

I'm a robot.

The next user gets a door slammed in his face.

Ow, that hurt.

The next user gets a door slammed in their face at 90% of the speed of light, causing the air in front of it to fuse with the power of a hydrogen bomb.

False, the air would not fuse, as done by labatory stimulations. Anyways the door disintagrated from the heat caused by the friction, and I was wearing a heat resistant suit.

The next user got slammed in the face with an indestructable door at 99% the speed of light

I am Chuck Norris.

The next user isn't Chuck Norris and is slammed in the face with an indistructable door at 90% the speed of light.