I put a copyright on that situation so you get sewed and I get paid millions of pounds :D

___________________________________________________________________________

The next user is the folder in my documents that I'm about to delete.

you regret deleting me, restoring me back. (yes, there was a way to restore a deleted file)

the next user was slammed with a 10 Ton antimatter hammer. enjoy as both you and the air around you eradicate.

What if I'm in an Anti-matter universe, where I'm made of anti-matter too? In this case I only get a few broken bones.

______________________________________________________________________

The next user is being attacked by 200,000 sumo wrestlers.

But there's too many of them! They can't even get to me because the keep knocking themselves over.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The next user has just fallen off of Shanghai Tower, and they don't have any parachutes or gliders. Look out, you're going to land right in the road!

 A truck full of hay passes by and I land right in it.

________________________________________________________________________________________

The next user finds themselves on the summit of Krakatoa while it is about to blow itself to pieces.

Helicopter.

The next user finds themselves on the summit of Krakatoa while it is about to blow itself to pieces.
They are not in possession of a helicopter

Ok then, I have a VTOL with me!

______________________________________________________________________________________

The next user is being stupided to deah by noobs.

Thinking quickly, I whip out a pen and start frantically writing instruction manuals. In moments, I have a guide at least extensive enough to teach every noob trying to stupid me. I begin to read it aloud. Unable to resist, they are ejected from their hosts, flying back to where they came from.

 

Dosens of people sit up, bewildered. They ask, "Did I do all those amateur things?"

 

The next user is about to be executed for war crimes.

.

Jacob1's use of the banhammer crashed the universe. As a result, a new Big Bang occured, recreating a new universe where I don't get banned.

 

The next user is also about to be permabanned from life, except the universe does not restart. You are truly permabanned.