Well, fortunately for me, the walls and ceiling was made of paper bits mixed with PVA glue, as a result i get only small abrasions.

the next user is getting shocked with 15,000 volts from a flybacktransformer, straight across their heart.

I stab the flyback transformer in the face.

The next user is stabbed in the face.

I'm bored of stabbings now, I shoot you in the face.

_________________________________________________

The next user is being chased by noobs with nukes.

I stab them in the-

No, all right. I'll listen to you.

I shoot the noobs with nukes in the face.

The next user is shot in the face.

...with a very low power laser which is too weak to cause harm.

 

The next user is trapped inside the core of an operating nuclear reactor. If the temperature doesn't kill you, the extreme neutron flux will, by converting your body into radioactive isotopes.

A noob walks into the power station and drops all the boron rods and accidentally turns everything off.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

The next user accidentally wakes Stalin up while not being his comrade...

I proceed to use the technologies I just used to awake Stalin (I mean, he died in 1952) and create a zombie army and overthrow the Communist regime.

 

The next user suffers from a massive heart attack.

Don't worry, I have a spare heart! (timelord lol)

_________________________

The next user is in a ship with no fuel that is being assulted by asteroids.

The asteroids are too small to severely damage a ship which is made of layers of boron carbide, silicon carbide, boron steel and rubber duckies.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The next user is trapped in a never ending paradox

Eventually an outside influence breaks the paradox.

 

The next user is attempting to enter orbit in a ship made of materials like boron steel, layered thickly, making the ship too heavy to achieve escape velocity.