i ask my brother to go for me, duh.............

the next user is imagening he is on a boat, and it is sinking and surrounded by sharks. (hint:STOP IMAGINING)

I recognize that Im daydreaming so I wake up. thats it.

The next user is in same situation,in REAL.

Fortunately, I was in the Arctic Ocean, so I simply sail the boat to the nearest ice shelf before it sinks, where the sharks won't be a problem.

The next user is a fish who was teleported into the middle of the Atacama Desert, which is the driest place on Earth.

I land in a fishbowl of a scienitist doing research there. He changes me back.

The next user is being bitch slapped by chuck noris

Fortunately, I happen to have a rocket launcher, which I use to kill Chuck Norris's zombie before he could get anywhere close to me.

The next user is trapped in a stable time loop, meaning that you have to repeat the exact same event over and over again for eternity.

im a gallifreyan timelord, and the event i have to do is fly a tardis, so i can escape the loop.

The next user is about to get eaten by a mutant potato. No: potatos cant eat people, etc. USE A BAZOOKA

I WAS ABOUT TO USE THAT EXPLANATION

I do not own a bazooka. Instead, I have it transferred to my nearest undertrained medical facility, and find myself a home among the stars as Earth's civilizations slowly spiral down to collapse under the weight of a rampant zombie plague. 

The next user is infected by said plague. Once infected, one has about three days to live. Use your time wisely.

Fortunately, it turns out that the virus is killed by very small quantities of radiation, so I expose myself to a small cobalt 60 source to kill off the viral particles. Finally, I launch a nuclear missile into the most heavily infected areas to exterminate the zombies and their viruses.

The next user was a zombie who was directly under the nuclear missile when it detonated, and was vaporized as a result.