Granted. Their big brother ghjkl kills you. With a rusty spatula from Mars.

I wish for a granted.

The wish fairies had a dispute over if your wish was bad grammar or an actual wish, so they gave you a cookie.

I wish it was Christmas again.

It becomes Christmas and you are buried under tons and tons of Christmas gifts and you suffocate to death.

Off-Topic: I was expecting something like "It's Christmas Day, over and over and over..."

On-Topic: You think of too many things at once and cause you head to explode.

I wish for Team Fortress 2 to be real.
EDIT: Why Natasha, Brass Beast would kill me faster :/

It is. The Heavy brings in Natasha, breaks your door and kills you because you're wearing a red/blue shirt.

I wish for.
Pie.
PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Granted. It's a pie-nyan cat. It doesn't like you trying to eat it and explodes your brain with it's power level of over nyan thousand.

You are; you cannot stand being an internet meme and go mad, causing you to commit suicide.

I wish for more Pringles.

Granted. But you fell sick of eating them.

but someone used a sledgehammer to destroy your windows and you are only left with window 3.

Granted. Your wish is so stupid it corrupts itself.