But I am a scientist who opposes the idea of dark matter.

The next user gets eaten by radioactive tse tse flies for all of eternity.

Fortunately, the atoms in the tse tse flies were so radioactive that they decayed within seconds, killing all of the flies.

I converted all of the hydrogen in the next user's body into radioactive radon gas.

i am a iron rod.

the next user is crushed by a heavy nuke.

I am hulk.

the next user is hit by 15 trains at the exact same time.

The trains, being 20m wide, crash into eachother instead of me.

I turn into jupiter(the planet) and crash into the next user

i am a star.

the next user is trapped in a planet that crashes into a other star.

I am a photon in a perfect mirror box. I simply escape when the box is destroyed.

I merge with other photons in a lasing enviroment to excite helium and neon with a power of >1TW. I smash into the next user as the beam from a 1TW laser.

a mirror cube teleports that traps me inside the box, before the beam shoot.

the next user gets hut by the oc39648's beam, directly.

"the next user gets hut by the oc39648's beam, directly."

I am inside my hut (booked two days ago), which turns out to actually be a wormhole that sends me far, far, far away from the beam. The beam, which would have still missed the hut by inches (yet still causing immense destruction), passes into absolutely nothing.

The next user is mistaken for a mango, and is about to get stabbed with a strong and unbelievably sharp knife by a burly giant.

I tell myself: "come on man,go to the exit before it's too late", and escape just in time for the giant to fall off his beanstalk and die.

The next user is at the edge of a cliff with evil murderbear sharks at the bottom, and has three seconds to Jump before a herd of wild flesh eating moose (meese? mooses?...) catch him.