I am Gordon Freeman inside the HEV suit. I live.

The next person is being boiled like a carrot.

I quickly jump out of the container i was in.

The next user is served for dinner to cannibals.

i also enjoy human meat and start a friendly conversation with the cannibals.

the next user steps into an elevator only to find the floor is just a hologram. (Anthony Horowitz reference)

I cling onto the light fixtures and press the down arrow.

I trap the next user in Ravenholm with no ammo, gravity gun or melee weapons. (HL2 reference)

I find a way out of the place.

The next user is a gladiator about to die from another in the roman era.

i have plasmids and destroy the whole stadium (Bioshock reference)

the next user is in an electric chair in an insane asylum

They try to turn it on, and it causes a blackout, and I escape.

The next person is stuck in a jet engine

fortunately, the engine never turns on and people eventually find me.

the next user has a flying buzzaw coming at them. It's about to hit you.

I am Neo, from the matrix. DODGE!!!

The next user is being force-fed Polonium

However, I am an alien lifeform that eats radioactive elements for food, so nothing happens.

I neutron activate the atoms in the next user's body, causing them to become radioactive isotopes.