The raditation makes me like superman and i fly away to punch the next users face

I bend down to pick up a penny I dropped.

The next user is a pencil about to be sharpened.

I get sharpened, giving my face a awesome, pointy makeover.

The next user is a egg that is about to be tossed out a 5 story window.

I am an extremely tough alien egg. I hatch after hitting the ground and eat your face.

The next user is being mauled by a zombie (AND UVE BEEN BITTEN!!!)

But I am a robot, and I the zombie can't affect me.

The next user has jumped off a high cliff with no parachute.,

WHEEEEEE! I'm doing a test. For a jetpack. The test was successful.

The next user is trapped at the neutron center of a TPT unpause-activated DEUT bomb.

I happen to be a neutron, meaning that I help trigger the bomb's detonation.

The next user is dropped into a floating tank of antimatter water.

I am antimatter, meaning this is the pool I swim laps in.

The next user is being punched in the face by my antimatter fist.

Luckily, my face is coincidentally also made of antimatter, so nothing happens.

The next user must commit sepuku for violating the law and code of their samurai master! There is no escape.

Luckely they gave me a plastic tanto to commit sepuku and it broke

I ran away with a sword and slice off the next users head