@boxmein (View Post)

 It's just some 256MB RAM. :D

I wish boxmein would come out of his cardboard box and not harm anyone.

@PacBrad (View Post)

 You are, but you are not alive.

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I wish that somebody here would notice a link between base 13 and hairdressers...

@BudCharles (View Post)

 Granted. We notice, and then we kill you for knowing too much.

I wish I could drop PacBrad into a pool of molten iron which would destroy him.

Granted. You never get an education and end up working for McDonalds where you die hideously after falling face-first into a deep-fat fryer.

I wish I could move things around with my thoughts.

@Quoozle (View Post)

 Granted. You decide to try to move something faster than light, but it ends up causing your mind to explode.

I wish I had a small chunk of rock from Pluto, and there was no danger associated with it.

@Michael238 (View Post)

Granted, but someone steals it from you because it's so rare.

I wish I had a memory slightly above average.

@DJspiderize (View Post)

 Granted. As the average memory is zero, you have hardly any memory at all.

I wish I had a critical mass of U-235.