You have broken the rules. Enter limbo now.

I wish for a jar of dirt.

Granted. You recieve a jar full of a brownish material, which you think is dirt. It is actually powdered corium from Chernobyl's reactor 4. You eventually develop radiation sickness due to its extreme radioactivity.

I wish for a bottle of thorium metal.

You recieve a highly unstable isotope of it. It decays, dousing you in radiation. You die.

I wish for the power of x-Ray vision (the traditional sense, allowing me to see through stuff, not hazardous radiation shooting out my eyes), when and only when I activate it, and until the day I die.

Granted. It only functions when there is sufficient background x-ray radiation to enable an image to be percieved, severely limiting its usefulness.

I wish for a glass of soda water.

What is this "soda water" you speak of? you instead recieve a glass of club water (sparkling water or carbonated water.

I wish that politics are all agreed on.

Every politician in the world agrees to murder you.

I wish that I had a foam minecraft diamond sword.

Granted, but the foam is osmium sponge, and the sword is sharpened, so you kill yourself with it.

Next user, goes into a sterilization chamber, having 3 MCi (3000KCi (kilocuries) or 3,000,000 curies) (megacuries; a million curies) of radiation

*EDIT WRONG PAGE*

Thats not a wish.

Luckily, I am wearing an extra-thick radiation suit.

I wish I had telekinesis (and could control it, and used it safely, and it couldn't harm me, and it wouldn't go away)

Wish granted but since you didn't wish for insurence and sercurity it got stolen.

I wish for nothing.

In case that cant work I wish to become a computer.