I become Fleet Admiral of the Navy. I drown in paperwork.

I wish for (nothing, its the only way to win. Just stop being selfish and wishing for stuff, be happy with what you have! ;)  )

You get nothing. Then i give you something.

I wish that Kydon checked the BMN right now. (I'm actually serious on this one ;)

He checks the BMN. Then the roof collapses and he dies.

I wish the next poster didn't ignore me

It's a wanted poster with you on it.

I wish I had a sharpened pencil.

I stab you with it.

I wish i had an eraser that never wore out. And is useable for erasing.

It doesn't work well and smuges all your work.

I wish I had a time machine that is indestructable and can't run out of fuel/power.

Granted. You fall into a very close orbit around a black hole, as its gravity distorts time, letting you go into the future. Unfortunately, you can't return, and you went several billion years into the future.

I wish I could go to the city of Prypiat, the abandoned city near Chernobyl. The city is not nearly as radioactive as it once was, due to natural decay over time. 

You go there. A stray dog mauls you.

I wish I had a sodium lamp.

your sodium lamp is sabotaged by someone who pours in some chlorine, you now have a salt lamp.

i wish for the tpt genius of arK.

You get the genius of arK, but in the process forget how to use a computer.

I wish for a Jacob's Ladder.