Granted. The paradoc causes everything in the universe other than you to spontaneously disappear, leaving you dying from lack of oxygen in the vacuum of space.

I wish that Mercury has a moon.

It does, but the moon soon burns up because mercury is so close to the sun.

I wish to never get angry for a bad reason.

you are always angry for no reason.

I wish I were never late.

you are never late to anything, except one day someone breaks the code of time and makes you late, PARADOX follow's.

i wish that i could bend the will of my enemies to my command.

Granted. You go mad with power and begin to suspect that you are your own enemy. Insanity results.

I wish for a large slice of cake.

It's your least favorite cake flavor.

I wish I could sleep whenever I want, undisturbed, and able to wake whenever I want.

Granted. But you sleep so long people think you're dead. You awake 3 feet underground.

I wish I could win an olympic gold medal.

you are caught cheating and exiled

i wish that i could have powers like in Bioshock.

You are soon hunted down by the government and killed.

I wish I had A LASER RIFLE

You get it, but it has no battery to power it.

I wish I could change into any animal I wanted and back.