Jokes
-
Yo mommas so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it said one at a time please!
-
your mamas so fat she plugged a BHOL.
-
these jokes to not relate to anyone living or dead.
1. Yo mama is so fat, people jog around her for exercise
2. Yo mama is so fat, when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
3. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
4. Yo mama is so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
5. Yo mama is so fat, the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
6. Yo mama is so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
7. Yo mama is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
8. Yo mama is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
9. Yo mama is so fat, she's got her own area code!
10. Yo mama is so fat, when she plays hopscotch she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
11. Yo mama is so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
12. Yo mamas is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her!
13. Yo mama is so fat, when she lays on the beach no one else gets sun!
14. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
15. Yo mama is so fat, she's on both sides of the family!
16. Yo mama is so fat, she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
17. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
18. Yo mama is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
19. Yo mama is so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
20. Yo mama is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
21. Yo mama is so fat, she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
22. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears one of those X jackets helicopters try to land on her back!
23. Yo mama is so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
24. Yo mama is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
25. Yo mama is so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
26. Yo mama is so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
27. Yo mama is so stupid, she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
28. Yo mama is so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!
29. Yo mama is so stupid, that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
30. Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gasoline money!
31. Yo mama is so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911"
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
33. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the super bowl.
34. Yo Mama is so stupid, it took her 1 hour to cook minute rice.
35. Yo mama is so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
36. Yo mama is so ugly, she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
37. Yo mama is so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
38. Yo mama is so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
39. Yo mama is so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
40. Yo mama is so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
42. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"
43. Yo mama is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
44. Yo mama is so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
45. Yo mama is so ugly, she made an onion cry.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, for Halloween she tricks or treats on the phone!
47. Yo mama is so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
48. Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her own age, and she died.
49. Yo mama so old, that when she was in school there was no history class.
50. Yo mama is so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
51. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says expired on it.
52. Yo mama is so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.
53. Yo mama is so stupid, that she called me to get my phone number.
54. Yo mama is so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
55. Yo mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test.
56. Yo mama is so fat, when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light.
57. Yo momma's so fat, that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family, even though you're fatter than me"
58. Yo mama is so fat, that she made you look skinny.
59. Yo mama is so fat, that she became the center of the solar system.
60. Yo Mama is so fat, the army uses her panties for a parachute.
61. Yo Mama is so fat, she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
62. Yo mama is so fat, she sat on Wal-Mart and lowered the prices.
63. Yo mama is so fat, when I tried to walk around her I got lost.
64. Yo mama is so big, when God said let there be light, he asked her to move.
65. Yo mama is so fat, she uses the ocean as a bath tub.
66. Yo mama is so fat, a car crashed into her and she said, "Who Threw That Rock".
67. Yo momma is so fat, she got in a monster truck and made it a low rider!
68. Yo mama is so fat, she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said," Mam we don't do curtains".
70. Yo mama is so fat, she was wearing a yellow shirt and the kids thought she was a school bus.
71. Yo mama is so fat, she had to take her passport photo by satellite.
72. Yo mama is so fat, that her belt size is the equator.
73. Yo mama is so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
74. Yo mama is so fat, she takes showers at carwashes.
75. Yo mama is so fat, when she died they didn't use a casket they used a mansion.
76. Yo mama is so stupid, she climbed over a huge window to see what was on the other side.
77. Yo mama is so fat, she farted and blew out the sun.
78. Yo mama is so ugly, that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!!
79. Yo mama is so lonely, she has you.
80. Yo mama is so fat, she has to buy 1000 airline tickets.
81. Yo mama is so black, if you put her in a bottle, she'll be coke.
82. Yo mama is so stupid, she gave birth to you.
83. Yo mama is so stupid, she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
84. Yo mama is so stupid, she stole free bread.
85. Yo mama is so stupid, she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
86. Yo mama is so stupid, she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
87. Yo mama is so fat, NASA orbit's a satellite around her!
88. Yo mama is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
89. You're so poor, that someone stole the skateboard sitting in front of your house and your whole family cried out, "No! Not the family car!"
90. You're so fat, that when you peed you made the Pacific Ocean!!!!
91. You're so fat, that when you sat on a quarter a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
92. You're so ugly, when walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
93. You're so ugly, when tried to take a bath, the water jumped out.
94. You're so ugly, people go as you to Halloween parties.
95. You're so fat, that when you rode a bike across the moon, you caused a solar eclipse.
96. Yo mama is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as new land.
97. You’re so poor, when I stepped on a penny your just like "Dude get off my pay check."
98. You’re so fat, that when you put on a yellow jacket people yelled "The sun’s falling"
99. Yo mama is so dumb, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!
100. You're so stupid, when you were in middle of the ocean you jumped off a boat and missed the water.
101. Yo momma so ugly she makes blind children cry.
102. Yo mama is so black he was walking at night and someone crashed and killed her.
I powned u all!!!!
Ask if you want 102 more!!! -
@Anmol444
Are you serious? Around 80% to 90% of those jokes were the same said by others. BEFORE you said them. -
OHHHH shit. I didnt read the thread. Sorry.
i dont think they would have said these:
102. Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just throw up!
103. They can't measure your intelligence. The scale won't go that low.
104. Appearances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
105. I promise not to make fun of your height. I would never stoop to that.
106. I'm glad you're tall. It gives me more of you to dislike.
107. I think you stepped on something smelly. Like your feet!
108. I've seen tables with nicer looking legs than yours.
109. Are you going to eat that apple, or gum it to death?
110. Your mouth's the perfect size... for your foot.
111. Yo mama so fat she sank the Titanic
112. I've seen a nose like yours before, but it looked better on the baboon.
113. Know what I like about your face? Me neither.
114. Know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
115. Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like, wash it.
116. You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.
117. You'll never use your mind. You can't lose what you never had.
118. You've made this date I won't forget... no matter how hard I try.
119. I know why they call this a "blind date." Because now that I've seen you, I wish I were blind.
120. You're like disposable diapers...always getting dumped.
121. ''What are you doing Friday night?'' ''Trying to forget you just asked me that.''
122."Don't get lost in thought; you'll be a total stranger there."
123.You're good looking in a way, away off.
124.The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
125.When you were born something terrible happened, you lived.
126.You look like a professional blind date.
126.Don't you ever get tired of having you around?
127.I don't know what makes you tick, but I hope it's a time bomb.
128.Someday you'll find yourself, and will you be disappointed.
129.I know you have to be somebody, but why do you have to be you?
130.If you said what you thought, you'd be speechless.
131.You think you're a wit, and you're probably half right.
132.Why don't you go blow your brains out, you've got nothing to lose.
133.I like you, I have no taste, but I like you.
134.I'd like to say I'm glad you’re here; I'd like to say it.
135.If there's ever a price on your head, take it.
136.You were born at home, but when your mother saw you she went to the hospital.
137.Someday you'll go far, and I hope you stay there.
138.If you stop telling lies about me, I'll stop telling the truth about you.
139.I wish I had a lower I.Q., so that I could enjoy your company.
140.I'm not going to get into a battle of wits with you; I never attack anyone who's unarmed.
141.Is your family happy, or do you go home at night?
142.You're someone who would make a perfect stranger.
143.Let's go some place were we can each be alone.
144.My I have the pleasure of you absents?
145.You have an open mind, and a mouth to match.
146.Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them.
147.Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go.
148.I like you better the more I see you less.
149.You're something that someone would only meet in a nightmare.
150.I wish your parents had never met.
151.The sooner I never see you again, the better it'll be for both of us when we meet.
152.You have such a big mouth; you could eat a banana sideways.
153.There's only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in half, I don't want two of you around.
154.Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning?
155.Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride.
156.You've got a great personality, but not for a human being.
157.I enjoy talking to you, my mind needs a rest.
158.If you ever need a friend, you'll have to get a dog.
159.You're outspoken, but not by anyone I know.
160.There's enough people in this world who hate you, without you working so hard to get another one.
161.Thank you; we're all challenged by your unique point of view.
162.I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
163.Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
164.I will always cherish the initial misconception I had about you.
165.How about never? Is never good for you?
166.I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
167.I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
168.I don't know what makes you so screwed up, but whatever it is, it works.
169.You do serve at least one useful purpose in life, as a horrible example.
170.You've got more talent in your little finger than you have in your big finger.
171.I'm busy now; can I ignore you some other time?
172.Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?
173.Me, getting smart with you? How would you know?
174.It's too bad stupidity isn't painful.
175.Don't say things like that; it just makes you sound stupid. In fact, don't talk at all. It just makes you sound stupid.
176.Thinking isn't your strong point, is it?
177.I would probably find you more interesting if had I studied psychology.
178.You're not being sensitive, I really don't like you.
179.You’re good, being gone.
180.If I've said anything to offend you, I mean it.
181.I would love to insult you, but you wouldn't understand.
182.Is there no beginning to your good taste?
183.One good thing about you, you’re easy to ignore.
184.Why do you get up in the morning?
185.You're a person of rare intelligence; it's rare when you show any.
186.Hey, I’m sorry, I’m not being rude; it’s just that you don’t matter.
187.I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
188.I wish we were better strangers.
189.Why do you have to be that way, you seemed normal until I got to know you?
190.Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
191.You are no longer beneath my contempt.
192.Are you a moron, or are you possessed by a retarded ghost?
193.I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
194.So tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
195.I notice that you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your conversation.
196.Don't try so hard, I couldn't like you any less.
197.You’re having delusions of competence.
198. You're so fat that when you were born they tried to shove you back in................ AND YOU DID NOT FIT
199. Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born, Doctors charged her parents for littering.
200. Yo mama so ugly the devil calls her the boogie man.
201. Yo mama so ugly she died 20 years ago but death didn't have the courage to tell her.
202. Yo mama so ugly after she was born the doctor slapped her mother.
203."What's he got that I haven't?" "You want it alphabetically?" -
-
I don't always finish my sentences, but when I do
