If you had enough rice, you could pour it on the ground and play in it like snow. all your first world friends will think you're crazy and all of the third world people will just see another rich guy bathing in his riches.

Editing David Thorne's monkeystuff

Disguised Monkey Rice

If I had a monkey piece of rice, I would borrow my mums sewing machine and make my monkey piece of rice a little monkey rice suit. Then if anyone said "Thats not a real monkey rice, it's just a monkey rice suit, I can see the zipper", I could say "I bet you fifty dollars it is a real monkey rice" and when they said "that seems like a reasonable bet, you are on", my monkey rice would take off the monkey rice suit and they would have to pay me fifty dollars. I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. For the monkey rice. So he wouldn't mind spending his life in a monkey rice suit.

@AngrySpam (View Post)

use the geneticly ultered rice to play dodgeball...

If you can do that billion, rent a space somewhere and invite all tpt members to a giant epic rice dodgeball game.

I'd use rice as an insulator. I'd stuff all the rise beneath my bead, so the heat would stay there. I sometimes sweat at night... And, when I wake up, the rice is right there next to me. So I eat it, and sometimes it's bitter and salty. Wonder why..

im actually asian-american... BAM instant qualification for having the rice shiped directly to me :DDD

All these suggestions are no longer relevent. I have eaten all the rice :3