You made an error in your statement. Every single grammar nazi ever commits suicide and you get put in jail for genocide.

 

I wish for the most amazing horse in the land.

Granted. It doesn't taste like raisins, leading you to throw it off a cliff.

I wish for pie.

It doesn't reach the sun. Instead, it comes back and splats into your face, seting off a nuclear fall out.

______________________________________________________________________________________

I wish this was my name:

gratetrafukpijunhirgotshetitskaboozamilfhebiwebiyouwetrihedroncherodnafaiertmeguwegubukadretremoomooheizetshaizashaz

wazoomiwegakimakishmakiwamblibonglitralaladingdingdongsaishiumlagnadiumsikrakrekronkderarukomekishmekishamamamlamadakoomoolikiballswikismallzimazikamikazitredawimiliamywiamylinglongbingikrongkarutomutoshuvmuvahfokahkarewa

kikinameratukilamsefanekarimidesdrutroshmoshiwoshidikichikibongshmonghimimilimitingzaishamaizataizahazwasimigimijimboblu

nobunokonklonkphilbillnodongmongshamiliwilimilibumholukowukochamaterakratkapertamshimishmimihamimiwimipongpogninigijiwaiza

haizahaawohyehamumoonushamichmelinkinikiliklabananumamamugaizerhaizermashanietgomatkidopashchimazeshamesiwishilishisham

ishigongilingongochmaferfrefuronfromentifromatikikwikifrominipolitikishimkishmakiwamakihinghongchingchangchonglonpwompkititikiktikiash

muziniwongkingkongfingbongweedymeedymethamulosimimihimitakikimoduharutoputopinatuboluboshmumohumoloomusimika

rimikuswikuslis (put in google translate and press the speaker XD).

Granted. Noone wants to say or write your name, so all of your work will go uncredited and everyone steals it.

 

I wish I could finish my books without getting distracted or getting writer's block.

You finish writing your books so quickly, the publishers who receive your book think you are not human and refuse to publish it, driving you to bankruptcy.

 

I wish for a pet beluga whale who cannot harm me.

 

Edit: ninja'd but user above did not post a wish

You get a sabertooth tiger kitten and it's mom kills you.

 

I wish that I didn't have to wait for awesome new games to come out.