They wrap themselves terribly.

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I wish I could instantly know how to use every type of programming language.

Granted. Every programer ever hates you.

 

I wish for the greatest pizza ever.

Granted. Greatest by Michel Lotito's standards.

I wish that Gravity Hull Designators actually worked.

You got a 100% normal bottle of PURE air. You inhaled it and died.

 

I wish that I had longer breaks from school.

Granted. You receive a bottle containing a complete vacuum. As soon as you touch it, it implodes, sending glass shards into your eyes, leaving you permanently blind.

 

I wish for a shorter year.

You get a bottle full of British National Vegetation Classification Volume 2, Heath Type 20.

I wish that everyone typed sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root / in their OSX / Linux terminal

Everyone types it in but then suddenly all their computers go blue screen just before they press enter.

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I wish people read my bio more (because I changed it) and actually watch the link on it.