Hopian tells you what he wanted the wish to be. It was so mindblowing your mind explodes. Literally.

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I wish to have an army of yolo bananas at my command.

You get your army of yolo bananas but they all get ran over by pl-o1 concepts

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I wish I could have my own garage full of KV-2s which I can drive anywhere I want XD

The Russians train their dogs on the diesel engines of the KV-2 and when the anti-tank dogs are released they blow up your tanks.
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I wish Gunpoint was longer.

Gunpoint does become longer. However, I decide to take you a little too literally and made the barrels of every single gun 20x longer. Awesome weapons like the AK47 and the Abrams tank become useless because of the super long gun barrel. As a result, militaries break down and everyone dies.

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I wish to hug the person going to post below me.

I am made of antimatter, which results in a massive explosion that instantly veporizes you.

 

I wish for a kilogram of cesium chloride.

Granted. It is injected into your bloodstream.

I wish for semicolons.

Granted; however they are misused horribly; like so;


I wish I had an infallible photographic memory.

Granted. You print pictures out the side of your head.

 

I wish for commercially available caffeine autoinjectors, sterile, below the LD50.

Granted. They become available, but then the government bans caffeine.

 

I wish that space travel was easier and more cost effective.

Granted. Everyone decides to migrate to other planets, fracturing and splintering the human race. As disasterous events happen on each of the worlds, the colonies slowly die out, leaving everyone dead.

 

I wish for the best cookie.