Granted, but you crash into a tree and chuck norris kills you for hurting nature

@firefreak11 (View Post)
You're supposed to catch the moltov that I just threw at you! Oh great, now you're dead, good thing I'm not liable.

---

I wish for a molotov nuke.

Granted. it blows up when you light a celebratory smoke.

I wish for an eraser.

Granted. It looks like a piece of gum and you eat it. You do not die. Instead everyone laughs at you because of your inability to determine what a given object is. Obviously it was a scone.

I wish my favorite webcomics would update faster...

They update so fast, they all go corrupt, blame you, and kill you before going back to normal.

I wish for more Jolly Joes (grape flavoured Mike & Ike's).

@ThisMustBeHalo (View Post)
They get pored all over your head and crush you eventually.

<hr>      --derp....well, it's meant to be there

                                                                                                         

I wish computers would work

Granted. North Korea promptly EMPs us.

I wish for a note card.

granted but it catches fire and you never see it again

But they spilt on your skin and gave u burns.

I wish for faster broadband.

It's so fast, the packets zoom around at the speed of light, ripping the wire open, starting a wormhole, sending you into the mouth of a dino.

I wish for a cracker.